Assassination Press

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Beam Me Up Scotty: Big Bang Revisited



Do Multiple Universes exist? Does there exist Parallel Worlds? What about Black Holes linking different levels of existence? Where can I get a Tribble?

Mind bending stuff for sure. The stuff of Science Fiction. Even trying to wrap your mind around these concepts can be difficult unless you are a scientist or perhaps a dedicated science fiction fan. If you don't know what E=MC2 means or cannot quote Captain Kirk in the second season of Star Trek, Episode #44; then perhaps this is all going way over your head. Don't worry though, pretty soon the "Secrets of the Universe" will be taught in middle school and your kids or grandkids can explain it to you. If not, just wait for the condensed version, "Secrets Of The Universe For Dummies", that will soon be in a bookstore near you. I've already got an advance copy. It even comes with a Tribble.

Now, for those that want to boldly go where no man has gone before, the world's leading center for research into the origins of matter on Wednesday took a giant step toward completion of a 15-year project which scientists hope will unlock many secrets of the universe.

A huge magnet core, weighing 1,920 metric tons or the equivalent of five jumbo jets, was lowered into a vast cavern 100 meters below ground at the multinational center, CERN, on the Swiss-French border near Geneva. "We think this project is going to uncover things we cannot dream of at the moment," said Professor Jos Engelen, Chief Scientific Officer of CERN, the 26-nation European Organization for Nuclear Research.

Some of his colleagues say the experiment, smashing particles together at high speed in a Large Hadron Collider (LHC), may bring new knowledge such as the possible existence of multiple dimensions beyond the four of traditional physics (width, length, height and time).

Others speak, if cautiously, of venturing into realms long regarded as those of speculative science fiction; multiple universes, parallel worlds, black holes in space linking different levels of existence.

Apart from magnets and detectors, the focal element of the LHC is a 27-km channel circling through a wide underground tunnel along which particles will be forced in opposite directions at the speed of light to smash together.

The experiments are due to start up by the end of 2007 and be fully operational in mid-2008. Each collision will recreate conditions that existed just nanoseconds after the Big Bang (The Big Bang is a fireball of energetic radiation which scientists say happened some 15 billion years ago and brought the universe into existence).

By studying what happens to the particles, researchers believe they will gain knowledge of how the matter of the known universe, and perhaps unknown ones, was formed.

Now, I don't know about you, but the thought of being on Earth while someone is recreating the Big Bang seems a bit scary. What happens if a black hole opens up and swallows us? What is that old saying? Curiosity killed the cat.

Beam Me Up, Scotty!


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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Feel The Force Luke: Web 2.0 Reloaded

I just found the coolest web application (for now). It is called Ning.

Ning is the latest startup of Netscape co-founder Marc Andreessen. Ning is giving consumers free tools to create and operate specialized online social networks of their own.

Since I have become interested in the phenomenon of Web 2.0, I have been looking at several social networking sites. This one rocks!

As Ning CEO Gina Bianchini says, "Other social network sites ask you to join their world. We are about people creating their own worlds".

The two-year-old Silicon Valley-based company said the new service, to be introduced on Tuesday, allows casual Web users to create, within a matter of minutes, a highly customized social network for one's friends, family or acquaintances.

Users within each Ning network can select the latest Web features for watching videos online, creating a photo slideshow, listening to music or publishing a blog. Members have far greater flexibility over the look of their personal profile pages, buddy lists and site color schemes.

As a test if their services, I created Kaffenated Incorporated

I created Kaffenated Incorporated in about thirty minutes. Kaffenated Incorporated is Web 2.0. My little experiment with it anyway. It will be interesting to see what it turns into (if anything). Feel free to post anything you want and make it a little part of you. Go to http://kaffenated.ning.com now.

Let the evolution begin....


EDIT: Looks like Ning is having some birthing problems (it just started today). If the site is not working, check back again soon or go to the Ning blog for updates.

EDIT Part Deux: Up again. Thanks Gina Bianchini and team!

JK


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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Antonella Barba: American Idol Gone Wild

I didn't expect it to come this quickly, but after my last post about infamous celebrity (or is it celebritney?) and the fact my palate was ready for some fresh meat, we now have some very interesting photography of Antonella Barba.

Antonella Barba is one of the hottest American Idol contestants this season, now her scandalous photos are rocking the web.

Will the college student Antonella Barba be ousted out from the competition or will this make her more popular? Time will tell...





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Friday, February 23, 2007

Famous To Infamous: Waiter, Can I Please See The Menu?

Better check the news every hour. There is sure to be an update on the latest celebrity to succumb to addiction or otherwise showcase their self-destruction. The details are usually salacious and the drama rivals the cheapest pulp fiction novel.

And make no mistake about it, you and I are contributing to their self destruction.

I think we first go through shock, then to disbelief, and finally we become parasitic. We are really nothing more than mesmerized parasites in need of a host. In a sense we are victims too, moths attracted to the glow of the train wreck. The paparazzi and news outlets feed us and we are ravenous.

If there was no demand, there would be no story. The famous person who quickly becomes infamous can thank the public for contributing to both spectrums of their celebrity. There should be a sign and chain link fence at every public event, “Beware of Fan”. After all, the public is a very dangerous breed of animal.

We have all seen celebrities attack the paparazzi and news outlets, but those entities are really not their enemy. The paparazzi and news outlets are only providing a necessary function. They are merely a functional part of the social food chain. The celebrities feed on the public and the public feed on them. The waiters and waitresses of the news provide their services to both sides and we all need each other, for better and worse.

What is most interesting to me is the power shift. Celebrities wield a great deal of power over their fans and the public in general. True, this power is a very finite power and can change day to day, but those that become infamous (or whom have become famous because of their infamous actions) are generally powerless and subject to the whim of the public desire and appetite in a much more definitive way. One could argue that celebrities are always powerless and subject to the public desire and appetite, however, there is a big difference in being pointed at in awe or being pointed at in disgust. The paradigm shift is real and when the infatuation ends, so does their celebrity.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had the guilty pleasure of having a few Britney burgers, some Anna Nicole fries, and some Hilton shakes. But I suspect that my palate will soon want something fresh and new. In fact, I think that time is now. Waiter, can I please see a menu?


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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Fast Times At Muslim High: Total Awesomeness


Perhaps one of the most fascinating aspects of modern culture influencing Muslim women can be witnessed on the sandy shorelines and breaking waves of your coastal waters. Many Muslim women are being taken over by a wave of enthusiasm for surfing and surf culture.

Baheera Mazoo and Kameela Vizzu are two of the most famous Muslim surfers in Florida. They sport some of the very latest in surf wear created specifically for Muslim women and have a tendency to use 80's surf lingo and Valley Girl talk mixed in with their accents.

"Gnarly waves Kameela!" says Baheera.

"Totally Awesomeness!" says Kameela.

One of their favorite things besides surfing is to watch 80's movies. Their favorite is "Fast Times at Ridgemont High".

"We so love Jeff Spicoli!", says Kameela. Baheera quickly agrees and they turn in unison to each other and say..."You deek!". A line from the movie that is infamously used by the Jeff Spicoli character to his teacher "Mr. Hand".

When asked how they deal with the stigma of being Muslim surfers in an American world, they quickly agree that...

"Dude, All we need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and we fine".


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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Stephen Colbert: The Americone Dream


Ben & Jerry's is fudging the truthiness.

The maker of Phish Food, Cherry Garcia and Vermonty Python is adding Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream to its collection of cult figure-inspired ice cream flavors.

Billed as "the sweet taste of liberty in your mouth," Americone Dream is vanilla ice cream packed with fudge-covered pieces of waffle cone and a caramel swirl.

"I'm not afraid to say it. Dessert has a well-known liberal agenda," Colbert said in a statement. "What I hope to do with this ice cream is bring some balance back to the freezer case."

Freedom has never tasted so sweet.

The host of the Emmy-nominated Colbert Report will be donating his portion of the proceeds to the newly established Stephen Colbert Americone Dream Fund, which will then dole out the dough to various charities.

I have always been a big fan of Stephen Colbert and his show, The Colbert Report. Him and Jon Stewart make up some of the best comedy television of the current day. For those that do not know Stephen Colbert, just turn on Comedy Central and enjoy his show (links provided above). His comedy and wit are nothing short of brilliant. Before his show, I would never have thought that the best way to poke fun at the right wingers, Bill O'reilly, and all the other lost souls in the "no-spin" zone, would be to imitate them (tongue firmly in cheek).

The one thing that made me one of Colbert's biggest fans, is the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner. Wow! This man has balls. I have no doubt that the people who brought him there fully believed he would bring a lighthearted monologue with him. Stephen is at the top of his game there and he doesn't pull any punches. Colbert's comedy touch along with the stunned faces and steely stares from Bush and his cronies make me laugh every time I watch this. I admire him for taking the opportunity to bring truth and comedy together for a night that is bound to become a classic moment in history.

Now, for your entertainment, here are the Parts 1, 2, and 3 of the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner featuring Stephen Colbert (and more than a fair bit of truthiness)...

Stephen Colbert Part 1



Stephen Colbert Part 2



Stephen Colbert Part 3


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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Pipes, Pipes, and More Pipes

It looks like the people at Yahoo! are starting to create some interesting technology for all of us to play with. They have now introduced a beta service called "Pipes".

This service not only provides a fantastic way to aggregate data of all types, it is a nice introduction to Programming 101.

If you always wanted to create your own program, but were afraid to learn how, this is a nice little introduction to simple and logical programming. Beyond that, it is a very valuable tool that anyone can use for business or pleasure. For Webmasters, it can help create content. For the average person, it can help find content.

One way I use Pipes is to create a "pipe" of my own (or borrow someone else's). Once this is done I subscribe to the RSS feed (or JSON) of that particular "pipe". For personal use, I highly recommend Google's RSS feed reader, aptly named "Google Reader". This is the program that I use to subscribe to all feeds of interest (not just my pipes). Think of "Google Reader" as an "inbox" for the Internet.

Now, go play!

JK


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Friday, February 09, 2007

Sexual Trivia on The Internet: Truth or Dare?

I found all of these factoids on the Internet. I have no idea how true they are, but they sure are fun to read (and should do wonders for my Google hits). I will remove anything that my readers find to be false (just send me an email). Enjoy...

Everyday, 200 million couples around the world have sex, which is about over 2000 couples at any given moment.

Women are most likely to want to have sex when they are ovulating.

The Egyptian Ankh is actually a symbol representing the male and female sex organs.

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world.

30% of women over the age of 80 still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.

Mosquitoes, which mate in the air, perform a sex act that lasts only 2 seconds.

Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand as those with only a Bachelor's degree.

Fellatio ranks as the number one sexual act desired by heterosexual men.

Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada.

It’s illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada.

Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they're sold door to door, by women.

More Americans lose their virginity in June than in any other month.

A man’s penis not only shrinks during cold weather but also from nonsexual excitement like when his favorite football team scores a touchdown, etc.

Wyoming’s Grand Teton mountain range literally means Big Tits.

In the original Grimm fairly tale of 'Sleeping Beauty', the Prince rapes her while she sleeps and then leaves before she wakes up.

The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means to exercise naked, which often was done in ancient Greece.

White women and those women with a college degree, when asked said they were more receptive to anal sex than women without college educations.

The word avocado comes from the Spanish word aguacate which is derived from the Aztec word ahuacati which means testicle.

The original representation of Cupid by the Greeks was that of a beautiful young boy whose naked form was considered to be the embodiment of sexual love.

The first condoms in the US were made from vulcanized rubber in the 1870s. They were expensive and annoyingly thick and meant to be reused.

Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy both the giving and receiving of oral sex than high school dropouts.

About 1% of the adult female population is able to achieve orgasm solely through breast stimulation.

14% of males said that they did not enjoy sex the first time.

60% of women say they did not enjoy sex their first time.

The Romans would crush a first time rapist’s gonads between two stones.

It’s illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.

In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.

In Fairbanks, Alaska it’s illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.

In Florida having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. Ouch!

According to a survey of sex shop owners, cherry is the most popular flavor of edible underwear.

When Viagra became available, operators of Nevada brothels reported that business "shot up" about 20 percent.

Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal.

Up until 1884, a Victorian-era woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.

During the Middle Ages, if you were guilty of bestiality you’d be burned at the stake, along with the other party to your crime.

The sperm of a mouse is longer than the sperm of an elephant.

Minks have intercourse that lasts an average of eight hours.

The chimpanzee holds the record for the quickest mammal sexual intercourse session at an average of three seconds.

Most turkeys and giraffes are bisexual.

An adult gorilla's penis is only two inches long.

Humans, fish and porpoises share a common sexual practice -- fellatio

The penis of a dragonfly is shaped like a shovel, and has the ability to scoop out a male rival’s semen.

The word pornography comes from the Greek meaning the “writings of prostitutes”.

In Ancient Greece, women would expose their vagina's to ward off storms at sea.

In ancient Greece and Rome, dildos were made out of animal horns, gold, silver, ivory and glass.

While nudity was considered commonplace to the ancient Greeks, a man was considered indecent if he had an exposed erection.

Both humans and porpoises have one social sex practice in common - group sex.

The penguin only has one single orgasm in a year.

The rhinoceros has a penis about two feet long.

The Black Widow spider eats her mate during or after sex.

A bull can inseminate 300 cows from one single ejaculation.

The sperm of a mouse is actually longer than the sperm of an elephant.

Sex education was first introduced into English schools in 1889.

Cleopatra invented her own diaphragm from camel's poop.

Eating the heart of a male Partridge was the cure for impotence in ancient Babylon.

The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.

It takes a sperm one hour to swim seven inches.

The initial spurt of ejaculate travels at 28 miles per hour. By way of comparison, the world record for the 100 yard dash is 27.1 miles per hour.

Honking of car horns for a couple that just got married is an old superstition to insure great sex.

The most successful X-rated movie of all time is 'Deep Throat'. It cost approximately $25,000 to make and has earned more than $600 million dollars.

Egyptians inserted stones into their vagina to prevent pregnancy.

In Medieval France unfaithful wives were made to chase a chicken through town while naked.

Napoleon's penis was sold to an American Urologist for $40,000

Seventy percent of women would rather have chocolate than sex.

The same chemical responsible for the ecstatic highs of love and sexual attraction, phenyl ethylamine, is also found in chocolate.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams.

The male fetus is capable of attaining an erection during the last trimester.

A survey conducted by Masters and Johnson in the early 1980s revealed that the third-most frequent fantasy amongst both homosexual men and women was a heterosexual encounter.

Hybristophilia is arousal derived by having sex with people who have committed crimes.

Among sexually active adults, lesbians have the lowest incidence of sexually transmitted diseases.

The average bra is designed to last for only 180 days of use.

The sperm of a mouse is actually longer than the sperm of an elephant, when viewed under a microscope of course.

Casanova boasted that he made love to the same woman twelve times in one day.

According to Playboy, the most popular sexual aid is erotic literature.

One of the reasons male deer rub their antlers on a tree or the ground is to masturbate.

Approximately one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.

A small flaccid penis generally has a greater percentage increase during erection than a larger flaccid penis.

In general, women who are housewives are more faithful than working women.

While nudity was considered commonplace to the ancient Greeks, a man was considered indecent if he had an exposed erection.

According to a recent survey, more Americans lose their virginity in June than any other month.

According to statistics, Australian women are the most likely to have sex on the first date.

The Black Widow spider eats her mate during or after sex.

It takes a sperm one hour to swim seven inches.

The practice of autoerotic asphyxiation (temporarily suffocating or strangling yourself while masturbating) takes the lives of 250 to a thousand people each year.

A “buckle bunny” is a woman who goes to rodeos with the intent of having sex with a rodeo cowboy.

Human testicles can increase in size by 50% when a man is aroused.

The word "sex" was coined in 1382.

A parthenologist is someone who specializes in the study of virgins and virginity.

A capon is a castrated rooster. They are said to have more tender meat when cooked and that’s why they cost more.

Two of the main causes of temporary impotence are tight pants and prolonged cigarette smoking.

The first public strip-tease dance was performed in Paris in 1894.

In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit. Huh?

In Newcastle, Wyoming, an ordinance specifically bans couples from having sex while standing in a store’s walk-in meat freezer.

The same chemical responsible for the ecstatic highs of love and sexual attraction, phenyl ethylamine, is also found in chocolate.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear of wet dreams.

Nasophilia is the arousal from the sight, touch, licking, or sucking of a partner's nose.

Axillism is the act of using of the armpit for sex.

According to the Kinsey Institute, half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal.

A "Dork' is a whale's penis. The Blue Whale has a ten foot long dork that is one foot in diameter.

Emetophilia is the arousal from vomit or vomiting.

Siderodromophilia is the arousal from riding in trains.

Anasteemaphilia is the attraction to a person because of a difference in height.

Crematistophilia is the arousal from being charged for sex.

Dacryphilia is the arousal from seeing tears in the eyes of a partner.

Oculolintus is the act of licking a partner's eyeball.

Nasophilia is the arousal from the sight, touch, licking, or sucking of a partner’s nose.

Sacofricosis is the practice of cutting a hole in the bottom of a front pants pocket in order to masturbate in public with less risk of detection.

Taphephilia is the arousal from being buried alive.

Formicophila is the enjoyment of the use of insects for sexual purposes.

Dendrophilia is a sexual attraction to trees.

Agalmatophilia is an attraction to statues or mannequins.

Plushophilia is the attraction to stuff animals or the act of intercourse with a stuffed animal.

Approximately one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.

It is illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to pose for a pornographic magazine, movie or web site in the USA.

Oral and anal sex is illegal in many states in the US, between both homosexual and heterosexual people.

The hymen is named after the Greek God Hymenaeus -- the God of marriage and weddings.

A pig’s orgasm lasts for about 30 minutes.

In 2004, a sex toy was introduced that does not require batteries: it connects to a USB port.

8.5 billion Condoms are produced every year worldwide.

Graham crackers were once believed (and in some cases used) to reduce sexual arousal and desire.

Many ancient sexual positions are physically impossible for most people.


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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Karma Police: All Things Come To A Beginning















“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” ~ T.S. Eliot


"Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water." ~ Zen Buddhist Proverb

"When will all the rhetorical questions end?" ~ George Carlin

All things come to a beginning.

Now that...

1) Sting is MIA on the pop charts and only slightly less obnoxious than usual...

2) Andy Summers is no longer taking exotic excursions, obsessed with nude photography, snorting coke, getting laid, and trying to copyright a guitar lick...

3) Stewart Copeland is no longer proclaiming The Police to be "his" band (but only that he founded it)...

...We have this.

NASHVILLE (Billboard) - Reunited rock trio the Police are expected to announce a 30th anniversary world tour during a news conference in Los Angeles on Monday, the day after the group opens the Grammy Awards."

I'm an 80's boy at heart and The Police were one of my absolute favorite bands once upon a time. I'll probably be first in line for this one when it rolls around to my little place in the world.

It sure is fun to watch aging rock stars, I don't feel as old anymore (and they probably don't either).

JK


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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Historical Romance or Twister Game Gone Wild?


A pair of human skeletons lie in an eternal embrace at an Neolithic archaeological dig site near Mantova, Italy, in this photo released February 6, 2007. Archaeologists in northern Italy believe the couple was buried 5,000-6,000 years ago, their arms still wrapped around each other in a hug that has lasted millennia.

I am immediately drawn to this photo. It is very romantic and inspirational. My question, what if they were just playing Twister?


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Web Two Oh 101

This YouTube video is pretty slick. It was created by Michael Wesch, Assistant Professor of Cultural Anthropology at Kansas State University. Web 2.0 is a phrase that has been tossed around quite a bit of late and if you ask ten different people what it means, they either don't know or you'll get a different answer from each person. This video is a nice introduction to Web 2.0, think of it as Web Two Oh 101...


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Saturday, February 03, 2007

The Coolest Desktop Application In The World (For Now)


If you want one of the coolest desktop applications in your office or home, give Earthdesk a try. Make sure you pick the right application (Earthdesk) for your operating system (Mac/PC). I can think of a hundred words to describe this thing, but I will let you think up your own. Enjoy!


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Friday, February 02, 2007

Friday's Food 4 Thought: Minimum Wage Can't Make A Better Pizza

Yesterday, millions of working mothers, fathers, and adults thought they were given a chance to improve their lives. What they may not realize is that they will continue to be living in poverty. In the end, the proposed minimum wage increase is only a symbolic measure without any real teeth or any real help for those living in poverty today. It actually benefits the rich more than the poor after pairing the minimum wage increase with tax benefits for the wealthy. This is a familiar theme in Congress, especially under the Bush regime.

The 2006 HHS poverty line for a family of three is $16,600, however, studies devoted to the family budget for a family of three indicate $23,000 to $46,000 (depending on where they live) is required to support a family of three. This includes the price of food, rent, childcare, transportation and other necessities. These figures do not represent luxury items. A minimum wage increase to 7.25/hr will raise the minimum wage income to $18,326. Can you live on that? I couldn’t. Did you know that over half of the minimum wage employees are women? Did you know that 80 percent are adults over the age of 20? Did you know that minimum wage workers make up the largest employment of women and single working mothers? I only wish there were a God to help them (and their children). As an atheist, I can’t even do that.

Is this good enough? Is this the best America can do? Why does one of the most advanced countries in the world continue to deny a living wage to all of their citizens?

When you go out today, I want to you to look into the faces of those that serve you. Chances are you will be looking into the eyes of a minimum wage employee every step of your day. In almost all team oriented studies, the team is only as strong as their weakest link. When you go out today, look for a business that proudly supports living wages and support their business. I go to a local Pizza place that gives their employee’s living wages, health benefits, and extra benefits such as vacations or paid time off. I pay a lot for that Pizza (and I bitch about it sometimes), but you know what? It is the best damn Pizza I have ever had and I keep going back. If living wages can make a better Pizza, the other possibilities are limitless.


JK


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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Wacky Wednesday: An Apple A Day...


Over the past few years I've been amazed at all the attachments and gizmo's that are being produced for Apple Ipod's. I think just about every area of the home, even your bathroom, there exists the possibility of adding an Ipod docking station of some sort (Hey, I don't know about you, but I have much more productive bowel movements with my toilet seat docking station).

Now your local doctor will be toting his Ipod to work for a different reason altogether. The Ipod stethoscope is now a reality. Plug and play for your heart....

Perhaps, we will begin to have collector heartbeat recordings of great people in history. What about adding CD/DVD extras featuring the heartbeat of your favorite band member, actor, or actress? I'd definitely be the first in line to buy the Angelina Jolie collector edition.

And what about all that nasty file sharing going on? I don't want somebody downloading my heartbeat with the latest American Idol crap. Which reminds me, I just started a new Myspace account. My band is called "The Heart Murmurs". Perhaps you'd like listening to our remake of "Two Hearts Beat As One"...


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