Katrina and The Waves

James Knight (Assassination Press)

I'm still alive after Hurricane Katrina briefly hit Florida. I need to update my list of Hurricane's that I have survived to date. Every time I think about this Hurricane I can't help but think about that 80's group "Katrina and The Waves". You know, "I'm walking on Sunshine........blah blah blah.....it feels good ya!". Terrible group, terrible song, terrible Hurricane......how fitting.

It was very mild for us here in Northern Florida. Just some rain and a little wind. I hope the Gulf Coast areas will be OK after today. It looks pretty bad from some of the images I have seen. I can empathize with what they are experiencing. I can remember how soggy N'awlins was during a bad rain, it must be pretty bad now. I hope they survive, it's a great place to party and see some beautiful women (and if your lucky, some boobs too).

I haven't written in awhile. Right now, I'm pretty busy in my personal and professional life. I've also been busy trying to get "Spin or Spun" up and running. Thanks to everyone who has been helping make "Spin or Spun" a better website. The website is devoted to community and it has some very interesting and intelligent people as members/beta testers. Thanks again!

I'll be writing again soon. I've been saving up some rants and general feelings of malcontent. I'm going to have to get it out into the blogosphere soon.

Sunday Editorial: Virtual Insanity?

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By James Knight (Assassination Press)



“Futures made of virtual insanity (now) Always seem to be govern'd by this love we have For useless, twisting, our new technology…”

“When things are big that should be small Who can tell what magic spells we'll be doing for us…”

Jamiroquai

If you had all that you ever wanted, what would you desire? If all your dreams came true, what would you dream of? Does something have the same value if you didn’t have to dream for it, plan for it, work for it, fuck for it, or find it?

If I was God and I said, “Fuck three wishes, I’m giving you an infinite supply”, what would you say? You’d probably be too busy kissing my ass to say anything. What if I then wave my invisible, but never-the-less, magic hand (unless it’s Sunday and then you will have to wait ‘till the next business day) and any wish your twisted little mind could come up with is granted. Would you be happily ever after?

Since the beginning of time, mankind has wanted to create a Utopia. For some, that Utopia was communal, for others it may have been individual. For some it may have been decadent, for others it may have been moral. Whatever a person or society’s ideal, whether imagined, attempted, or half-realized; the one thing all Utopia’s have in common is failure.

But mankind is persistent. You’ve got to at least give us that. Humankind is an autistic bunch of dumb-ass self-masochists. Got a wall? Got a head? Got a few thousand centuries? If we have the slightest inkling that something is on the other side of that wall, we’re going to beat ourselves silly for it. The great fairytale of Adam and Eve started it all and Adam set a precedent for the rest of us. We may be doomed, but God Damn it, we are definitely persistent motherfuckers.

Many ideals, once thought science fiction or insurmountable, have been realized. Perhaps with today’s technological advances our Utopia is right around the virtual corner. Our entertainment is on demand, our information is on demand, and any kind of pizza your heart could desire is on demand (which is pretty damn close to Utopia anyway). What is next?

We are probably only decades away from cloning ourselves (only the ‘best’ parts). But that will probably be flawed too. The copy is only as good as the original. Humankind isn’t exactly the best example to base a new super race on. In fact, it is pretty much guaranteed to be “FUBAR”. “DNA” really stands for Dangerous No-Good Assholes.

No, the only perfection possible is in something not human. Inhuman even. Those little wires, processors, and chipsets that are allowing you to view these words right now are going to allow you much more in the future.

I haven’t been watching “The Matrix” either. If anything, I’ve dreamt my digital dreams from the seeds planted by William Gibson’s cyber punk novels of the future (he is the person who coined “cyberspace”, among others). And how did Mr. Gibson come up with his ideas? He extrapolated on the reality of what was today. Take something, anything, and then extrapolate the possibilities by 100, 1000, 1,000,000. So, let’s take Mr. Gibson’s formula and apply it now…

What do we have today?

A computer, broadband connection, and a valid credit card can get you information, get you news, get you entertainment, get you video, get you audio, get you pictures, get pizza delivered to your door, and get you off.

What do we have in the future?

Extrapolate that by a million, billion, or gazillion, and you’ve got some flavor of Utopia (or at least some crazy fucker like Dennis Hopper in “Easy Rider” whispering in your ear, “Yeah maaan, it’s like, I’ll have mine with Pepperoni, Sausage, and some fucking Anchovies maaaaan…”.)

Some person, somewhere, at sometime, is going to find that magical little port into our brains and we will be jacked up to our own virtual reality. The clock is ticking; it’s just a matter of time. Bzzzzzzzzt. Goodbye to failure. Goodbye gasoline. Goodbye to that person who wouldn’t take your phone number last night. Presto! With the click of the hard drive and a few million neurotransmitters firing you’ve got yourself a free ride to anywhere and the best damn cybersex this side of Mars. Destination: Funky-town Baby!

The manipulation of our senses is not impossible. It’s just a matter of time before all our senses are plugged in, jacked up, and tuned into a virtual reality that would seem as real as the world you exist in today. Imagine a world where everything you see, touch, hear, smell, and feel is nothing but ones and zeroes designed to make your dreams come true. It’s hard to contemplate.

See, after you’ve conquered your virtual world, what’s left? You’ve sexed up the best there is to offer, been on vacations to every real or imagined place in your mind, spent more money than could ever be printed, and played with all the toys. What’s next? Okay, let’s say you “really really really” like sex (I know, it’s a stretch, but bear with me). Let’s say you “really really really” like jet setting around, spending money, and playing with all the toys you can dream up. You “really really really” like doing it so much, you do it a few million times. In cyberspace, that can happen in the blink of an eye. Time also has no meaning, so you could do it all in a heartbeat. What are you going to do with all your other heartbeats? Think about this now. Let it swirl around in your head for a moment. Anything your heart desires has been given to you. Not just once, but a few million times.

Would you start craving adversity? Would you start craving to work toward your goals and feel the reward that comes with achievement? Maybe you’d plug in and plug out a little bit. Just enough time to realize the imperfections of the real world and then go hide in your virtual reality for some “down time”. Maybe. But, shit, you’ve already done that a bazillion times. It’s old. Dennis Hopper, ala “Easy Rider”, is back and whispering in your ear, “yeah maaaan, you’ve been there, done that maaaan. It’s as old as your grandmother’s crusty underwear maaaan”.

Perhaps, just perhaps, imperfection is perfection. Sure, we all want a better world. There are some things that are just so fucked up that we have to fix them. But perhaps a world where the worst no longer exists, but the best is still a paycheck away is the most we can hope for. Maybe the 80’s band “Loverboy” was really sage and omniscience (versus just pop rock fluff) when saying, “Everybody is working for the weekend. Everybody wants a little romance. Everybody's goin' off the deep end. Everybody needs a second chance, oh…”

Definitely, these are things to think about. But for now I’m going to go find some cyber babes…

Bush: The Missing Years

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By James Knight (Assassination Press)

It's now well established that George W. Bush never showed up for National Guard duty for a period of approximately one year, possibly more, in 1972-1973. Now, Assassination Press has obtained exclusive photo's of Bush during those "missing years".

As you can see in this photo, Bush was partying with Hugh Hefner and some Playboy playmates. He can be seen kneeling by Hefner. My confidential sources tell me that Bush liked to wear his Air National uniforms during those "missing years". According to my source, Bush said, "This uniform is a ***** magnet".

Each week, Assassination Press will submit new photo's of the missing Bush during those formative years. Let me tell you in advance, he was having one hell of a good time!

Sunday Editorial: Insane Problems Require Insane Solutions

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By James Knight (Assassination Press)

“The whole country’s got a fucked up mentality. We all got a gang mentality. Republicans are fucking idiots. Democrats are fucking idiots. Conservatives are idiots and liberals are idiots.”

“Anyone who makes up their mind before they hear the issue is a fucking fool. Everybody is so busy wanting to be down with a gang! I’m a conservative! I’m a liberal! It’s all bullshit.”

“Be a fucking person. Listen. Let it swirl around in your head. Then form your opinion.”

“No normal decent person is one thing. OK!?! I got some shit I’m conservative about; I got some shit I’m liberal about. Crime – I’m conservative. Prostitution – I’m liberal!”

Chris Rock

What is sanity? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, sanity is defined as “reasonable and rational behavior”. What is insane? According to the Oxford English Dictionary, insane is defined as “in or relating to an unsound state of mind, extremely foolish; irrational”.

In our American society today, we have a presidential administration that is acting in extremely foolish and irrational ways. Case in point:

President Bush unilaterally appoints John Bolton as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.

In an unprecedented move, Bush single handedly appoints a man whom, in all likelihood, would be denied a traditional appointment by the United States Senate. The “recess” appointment, an avenue available only when Congress is in recess and which is intended by the Constitution to only be used in severe circumstances, has allowed President Bush to abuse his power and essentially sidestep Bolton’s detractors without a Senate hearing. Evidently, the only “voice of reason”, is the one inside Bush’s own head.

Bush has said Bolton was “the right man” to prod the U.N. to adopt difficult reforms. However, Bolton is a man who has proven to be uncompromising, extremely conservative, a sharp critic of the United Nations, and a person who has routinely dismissed and/or retaliated against any voices of caution or dissent.

Now, he will have to work with the same entity he has criticized. In addition, he will need to work with 190 other Ambassador’s whom all have differing points of view. It doesn’t seem likely that a man, who has a habit of bullying, marginalizing, and undermining those who do not agree with him, is going to succeed in this capacity. Is this really the “right man” for the job? It makes one wonder what the “job” actually entails.

It seems likely Bolton will alienate the United Nations and it’s members. Thus, the Bush administration has essentially dismissed the largest “voice of reason” in the entire world. And this at a time, when the United States, in the hands of the Bush administration, has already alienated much of the world governments. This is not the action of a sane administration.

Of course, this shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Bush has made more “recess” appointments (106 to be exact). And, Bush has not only tried to “bully” his ideology on the world stage, but on the national stage as well. Case in point:

Bush appoints Ken Tomlinson as chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

Ken Tomlinson, a man who got his start on right-wing radio and whom subsequently ran one of the most conservative talk shows in American history. A man who, as chief of the Reader’s Digest, published one of the most reactionary magazines in the country. A man who happens to be close friends with Karl Rove and many members of the Bush administration.

This is a man who is supposed to provide PBS and NPR with “maximum protection from extraneous influence and control”? Is Tomlinson also the “right man” for the job? I suppose it all depends on what that job entails.

PBS and NPR are publicly funded avenues for independent journalism and entertainment; however, Tomlinson is overtly attempting to turn each publicly funded entity into right wing, conservative avenues, for pro-Bush administration journalism and entertainment. Anything that is not in alignment with conservative values would be cut if Tomlinson has his way.

To date, he has hired ultra conservative consultants to monitor PBS programming for liberal bias, collaborated with the White House to hire “ombudsmen” to keep an eye on the PBS programs “Frontline” and “All Things Considered”, and in an extremely undignified moment has warned a gathering of PBS executives that their programming should reflect conservative values or they would not get public funding (In retaliation for not adhering to his conservative war cry, he stood by as Congress attempted to slash funding for PBS, the very entity he is sworn to protect).

What is even more scary, is that Tomlinson has labeled extremist and/or liberal, anyone who does not align themselves with his, or the Bush administration’s, point of view. Some of his “extremists” include, Sen. Chuck Hagel (Republican) and Former Representative Bob Barr (Republican). To top it off, Tomlinson, as does Bolton, routinely suppresses or manipulates data that offers a dissenting point of view. When two polls he commissioned in 2002 and 2003 revealed that Eighty percent of Americans held a favorable view of PBS and that Ninety-Two percent of the American public considered the PBS reporting of the Iraq war to be unbiased, he squashed it. That is, until he was forced to hand the data over to Congress.

Is this sanity? Trying to brainwash the American public into believing anything the Bush administration wishes to be true?

Can an insane problem be solved with sane solutions? How can those of us with “reasonable and rational behavior” combat the opposite? How can we respond to insanity?

It’s not only the administration that is insane, but many of the people who elected Bush.

These are people who actually believe that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. People who proclaim that all life is sacred (unless you’re talking about the death penalty or gun laws). People who believe that evolution is only a theory. And, to top it off, actually believe Saddam Hussein and Iraq were involved with “9/11”.

So, I think we have a problem on our hands. An insane problem that can only be solved by an insane solution.

We need to turn all those red states into blue states (or at least the one’s that have the most electoral votes). We have to return the United States to sanity. The solution is simple (insane, but simple):

We need to take some of the college educated and/or reasonable adults from the blue states and have them move to the red states prior to the next election. Hey, I’m not asking for much, just an above average IQ. The blue states have more people than red states, surely there are some of you out there who can be relocated.

We need to spread sanity. So listen up all educated and reasonable adults. Texas, Oklahoma, the entire Midwest and South are now taking applications for sane, reasonable, educated people. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. A country is too.

Mahna Mahna Redux: Bushisms

By James Knight (Assassination Press)

Why do Republicans look like Muppets? Sometimes, they even act like Muppets!

Listen to this.

One Month and Counting...

It's been one month since I started this blog. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has stopped by for a visit. Hopefully, if I have been doing this thing the way I first imagined, I've made you laugh, ponder, and/or pissed you off.

To date, I've had over 5000 unique visitors and almost twice that many page hits. Circulation has increased from zero to over 400 regular subscribers. Most importantly, I've managed to donate some money to PETA and HSUS just by you guys and gals clicking on those annoying little Google ads (no purchase necessary....hint hint).

It's been a wonderful experience so far and I look forward to providing better content and more multimedia oriented content as well. I really enjoy writing and being creative. Your feedback has been very much appreciated.

This is still very much a work in progress. Soon, I will have a completely new interface and web design for those with higher bandwidth capabilities. I will still have an HTML page for lower bandwidth.

I've been taking a few days off, but I've got some things in the pipeline that I think will be worth a few mintues of your time.

Again, thanks for the visits and stay tuned....

JK